The Start of My Journey – UPDATED!

That’s Me … Up there on the right. Straight out of the camera shot. Nothing doctored … nothing changed. Why am I posting this?  Give me a moment and I will explain … but first … a couple of more pictures ..

Why in the WORLD would I post such audacious photos of myself? I love the photos and the memories from the weekend these photos were taken.  The problem … I’m totally ashamed of the way I look in these photos.

These photos were taken on Mother’s Day weekend 2010. The top photo is with my Mom and my sister. As you can tell all of us have issues with weight but my weight has gotten out of control. It took this weekend for me to realize that I’ve had enough and to make the decision to change what I’ve created and that is my obesity.

I have struggled with my weight all of my life. In the early 80’s I did something I thought was amazing. I lost about 70 lbs and kept it off for about two years. I could find clothes to wear and loved shopping. I wasn’t ashamed to go to the beach and wear a swimsuit. I wasn’t afraid to wear tank tops, or strapless dresses, or shorts … or anything else that caught my eye. I loved the way I looked and was happy with the person I was.  THEN I got pregnant with my first daughter the summer of 1984. My thought process during pregnancy was that I was eating for two and I’d lost the weight once I could lose the weight again. I gained 69lbs during my pregnancy. I lost about 18 when Heather was born but that was the end of my weight loss. I actually gained back the 18lbs and about 70 more. I was at my heaviest and decided it was time to shed the weight again.  I started Weight Watchers and lost about 75lbs.  I never did reach my goal but I was content in being able to find clothes that fit. My weight fluctuated on and off for a couple of years then I got pregnant with my second daughter. I only gained 22lbs with her. My first time on the scales after she was born I was down 28lbs so I was lighter then, than when I got pregnant. I was okay with that.

Over the next 20 years or so I continued to gain … and gain … and … well you get the picture.  When Lil Man was born by emergency C-section in January 2007  the nurses almost gave up on finding scrubs that would fit. I thought that was incentive enough to get the weight off so I started the downward weight loss spiral again. TOTAL FAIL!  When Lil Bit was born in March 2009 I was once again faced with scrubs that wouldn’t fit. The largest they could find was about two sizes to small and the pants would barely come up enough for the top to cover and the top was so tight I could hardly breath.  I had them on and I was able to go into surgery with my daughter and that was all that mattered at the time.  When I carried Lil Bit out of surgery I honestly couldn’t wait to lay him down and get out of the scrubs and back into my size 4x pants that fit.  Lil Bear is due in about 13 weeks and I want to be in the OR when he arrives! At my current weight that probably won’t happen. I’ve put on about 25lbs since Lil Bit was born so I’m pretty sure the hospital won’t have anything that will fit me.

While this situation added to my decision to get the weight off let’s get back to what ultimately put me on my weight loss journey …

I spent hours during Mother’s Day weekend looking for clothes. I shopped in all of the specialty shops for ‘larger’ women. I tried on the largest sizes they carried in these shops. NOTHING fit or if I did manage to find something I could squeeze in to it looked HORRIBLE on me.  I left the shops crying and hating myself for what I had done to my body, to my health, and to my mentality.  When I looked at the pictures from the weekend I knew then and there something had to change!

I began my weight loss journey on Thursday, May 13, 2010.  I won’t share my starting weight for now but I will attempt to update weekly with my weight loss totals and when I reach a number that I am comfortable with I will share my starting weight, my weight at that time, and my ultimate weight goal.  I’m walking this journey with my Mother. She is the beautiful lady in the center of the top photo. (I Love You Mama!) She has lost 54lbs in the past five months. I am so proud of her. She is my inspiration!  We are walking this journey together using the Weight Watcher program. It was successful for me once … it will be again.  I will update with photos occasionally and I invite you to join me in my journey to being a happier, healthier, and smaller person.

FYI: My first week was a struggle.  I missed sweet tea, soda, sweets, BREAD!, and potato chips.  I have learned that I really enjoy bananas and apples.  I can eat whole wheat cereals … it doesn’t have to be sugar laden to taste good! And the important thing … In my first week I lost 10.6 pounds!!

Today is my second big weigh in.  This second week has been easier. I don’t miss the sweet sugary drinks. Diet Pepsi is pretty good. I don’t miss the bread and I haven’t even thought about potato chips. I started walking this week.  Not as in casual walks but seriously walking for the sake of weight loss.

I will update tomorrow with my weight loss total for this week … stay tuned!

***5/28/2010 – UPDATE*** Yesterday’s weigh in was -4lbs for a total weight loss of  14.6lbs in two weeks!

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Fiddledeedee
    Jun 09, 2010 @ 09:49:18

    I am SO PROUD OF YOU! It is so hard to start a weight loss program, especially OUT LOUD on the internet. :) But I tell you, you are an inspiration. God bless you on your journey and I’ll be watching!

    BTW, you share a name with one of my dearest childhood friends. :)

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