What do you think of when you hear the word Manhattan? Well to me the first thing that came to mind was, of course, Manhattan Transfer … I am from that era! Unfortunately that is not what my daughter was referring to when she used the word Manhattan. No … in fact she wasn’t even thinking about music. To be honest with you … I’m not really sure what she is thinking!

Anyway … Heather dropped the bomb this morning that she is moving to Manhattan when she gets her tax refund. Like she’s really going to be able to live in Manhattan on what she gets back from Uncle Sam. Not to mention that she knows absolutely NO ONE in New York, much less in Manhattan. The closest she has ever come to leaving home was a short stint in Gainesville, GA a few summers ago where she ended up calling me in the middle of the night to come and get her because an unfortunate situation she had gotten in to left her scared, homeless, jobless and without anything more than the shirt off her back. When I picked her up from a convenience store in Gainesville she was wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt. I picked her up, brought her home, and she had absolutely nothing. Everything had been broken, stolen, lost, or sold for what little money she could get to live on. At any rate … I brought her home and helped her get started over … and Lord what we’ve been through since then.

Heather and Stasha have never really gotten along with each other and as they’ve gotten older it’s only gotten worse. Neither of them is directly to blame. They are both very stubborn, hard headed, and jealous of each other although I’m not really sure why. Neither one of them seem to want to channel their anger, with each other, into something positive. They want to lash out at each other and keep everything in an uproar all the time. Sometimes it’s not very pleasant around my house!! Stasha has issues … no doubt … and she does poorly with displaying her anger. She gets very loud and obnoxious. She has also been know to be somewhat violent on occasion, that however has improved since she became a Mom. She still gets loud and says things I don’t approve of but she doesn’t lash out physically. Heather is totally the opposite. When she gets angry enough to unleash she gets in a vehicle with one of her friends and takes off. Then we can only speculate as to what she is doing. Recently she has taken up drinking. Not just an occasional drink but more like binge drinking. It’s not been pleasant! My father was an alcoholic and I hated living in that situation. I still cringe when I think about how mean and hateful he was when he was drinking.

Anyway …. Now Heather has decided she wants to move to NY with this new friend and to get away from the family that, in her words, hates her.  Apparently this friend’s parents have a rental house in Manhattan they are going to let the girls live in. I think it’s great that she is wanting to venture out into the world and become an independent person. She will be 23 in a few days and it’s time she move out and make a life for herself.  What’s my dilemma then you ask? My dilemma is this … Heather is doing this out of anger. She’s isn’t responsible enough to take on ‘the big city’ and definitely not do it out of anger! She doesn’t have a job to go to when she gets there and she had NO money in reserve. While her tax refund is decent it won’t last a month in Manhattan and with the state of the economy now days … finding a job won’t be easy or even start to cover the expenses. She only has a GED and some training in being a cook. Other than that … nothing! How in the world is she going to live and survive in Manhattan? She has NO sense of safety and she will trust anybody that’s nice to her. If you cross her path then she goes into ‘royal’ mode and my ultimate fear is that she will be swallowed up in the streets of NY and end up a causality.

What’s really sad … I can’t do anything about it … she’s grown in years but she’s still a child in reason.


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