Works For Me Wednesday – Paper or Towels?

With everyone trying to put more emphasis on ‘Going Green’, and since we are celebrating my Mom’s birthday this week which includes lots of gifts … which leads to lots of pretty wrapping paper being torn from gifts and tossed in the trash (unless you recycle but what good is that? Used once and it’s never really ‘pretty’ for a second … or third …  or … you get the picture!) … I gave some thought to an alternative way of wrapping our gifts for Mama. I tried thinking of stuff that could be reused and it dawned on me that one thing we never seem to have enough of in my house and my Mama is always saying she needs more of is towels. Have you seen the wide variety of colors and styles in towels available? It’s amazing and the variety you could come up with and save the waste of paper thus cutting down on the amount of trash as well as saving a tree! For Mama’s birthday gift, and any future gifts that require wrapping I’m going to use something that can be beneficial to the household afterwards … ie: birthday gifts I’ll wrap in bath towels or beach towels, household/bridal shower gifts I’ll wrap in kitchen towels, baby shower gifts I’ll wrap in receiving blankets … I’m sure you get the picture.  Any gift wrapped in reusable items and tied with a lovely bow … I believe … would be well received and enjoyed for quiet some time, not to mention cutting down on the trash to be thrown out.

Your thoughts??

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Thoughts and Feelings

It has been over a week now since Stasha’s miscarriage. With each passing day the reality of what happened gets easier. Stasha is doing much better than I expected. Typically she does not handle emotional things very well but I must say that I am very proud of her for the way she has been dealing with the loss of her baby. We talk about what happened and we both do wonder why but we know God had a reason for taking our little Angel when he did and we trust the choice he made in doing so. He has been out strength, our source of comfort, and our will to continue with our daily drone of life knowing full well there will be a day when we will be met at the gates of Heaven to be reunited with the baby that was taken from us without warning.

In other news … Tax season is over and my daily routine is getting back to normal. It still feels kinda weird to go home at 5pm and have time to do whatever I choose to do before it gets dark. This past Thursday I took the day off because Stasha and Lil Man had doctor appointments. It was a beautiful day and being inside just wasn’t an option. We decided to invite our neighbor and her kids to go with us to the park and play. We also decided that if a grill was available we’d have a cookout. It was … we did … and it was exactly what was needed to pick up down spirits. We had a really good time and I have decided that when I do decide it’s time to buy my own home that I want to pay special attention to my yard details.  Instead of having all this grass to keep up I want a rubberized play ground … just like the one at the park. Low maintenance with lots of toys for Lil Man to climb and play on … AND I also want a water park like the one they have installed recently at the park we were at.  It has all kinds of neat water ‘toys’ such as sprayers, sprinklers, and random shoots of water coming out of the ground in various locations throughout the water park. What more could a person ask for? It would be totally awesome to have something like this … right in your own backyard!!

Church is starting to jump on board for Bible School and I’m psyched this year. I will be assisting with the 9-12th grade youth. They are really a great group of kids so I’m looking forward to this experience to be able to share the love of God with these kids.  We always have a great turnout for Bible school. Most nights we have 200+ kids. The ladies of the Church serve dinner every night which is a blessing. I don’t have to worry about rushing home after work to make dinner then trying to get back to Church before the kids march in!  It’s a tough week but it is soooo much fun!

I’m begging for a vacation week this summer but I honestly don’t see it being possible. I can always take a week off to just take a week off … but I want to do something. I would be bored in no time staying home for the sake of just taking a week off.  Maybe we’ll go camping or something relatively inexpensive … unless of course someone out there in blog land is feeling generous enough to fund … oh say a week at the beach or better yet … a week at DisneyLand … crazy I know but you can’t blame a girl for trying!

Mama, There is a Big Bright Star in the Sky …

And I know that’s my baby up in Heaven.

That is what Stasha said to me after sitting on the balcony for a few minutes last night. While she had a smile on her face you could see the sadness in her eyes and you could hear her precious heart cry out in pain. I want so much to take away her pain but all I can do is share in that pain and cry with her.

Friday … April 18, 2008, will forever be a day that is etched in our memory. Friday was a day that started like any other. Everyone was up, moving about, happy and healthy. Stasha and Lil Man had spent the day with her mamaw (my mama). It is so seldom the three of them get to spend any time together so they just spent the day laying around and enjoying each other’s company. By the time Stasha’s dad got off work Friday afternoon she was ready to go home so he went to Mama’s to pick her up. He needed to stop at Wal-Mart so she decided her and Lil Man would go with him. Her dad and Peyton took off to the hunting section and Stasha made a quick trip to the bathroom.

I was at the office and my cell phone rang … 4:26 in the afternoon … Stasha was screaming and I could tell she was VERY upset. I talked her through calming down and she told me she needed to go to the hospital. She said she was bleeding. Since Stasha had experienced some spotting early in her pregnancy with Lil Man and also because she is very prone to urinary tract infections and some bleeding from that I wasn’t really worried and told her I would meet her at the ER. Unfortunately her OB was out of town Friday so we couldn’t just go to his office.

When her dad got to the ER with her she looked really pale and I could tell this was different. I knew there was more going on than the spotting or another UTI. We went to the Women’s Unit where we had been instructed to go when I called the OB office. They started the usual routine and asked Stasha to change into a gown and give them a urine sample. She went into the bathroom and then she screamed out for me. I went to the bathroom and …. ….

I knew then and you could see the fear in her eyes …

Several hours and a DNC later we were home … sad … hurting … lost for words … in shock … today it still hurts … people call to ask if we are ok … we say yes … but we’re not ok …

Lil Peanut … we know you are in Heaven and YES … we know that big bright star in the sky is you … we don’t understand why you were taken from us … but we know that God is going to take very good care of you until we can come be with you someday … YES, we will tell Lil Man about you … and YES we will always remember you and love you … We know when God sends us a Guardian Angel that it will be you …

Just Stuff

I could whine and bicker but I won’t. In the broad aspect of this week I truly can not complain. It’s not been too bad a week. Slow … dragged out … uneventful … pretty much. I do have the weekend off which is kinda rare this time of year. Next week is the final week of tax season … good in some ways … bad in others. I do miss the money I make during the few months of tax season. I’m in pretty good shape for the summer though so I’m not going to worry a whole lot.

Mama had some tests done yesterday which included dilation of her esophagus and hopefully this will keep her from getting choked and coughing all the time. She said she ate dinner last night and didn’t get choked even once. That’s a milestone for my mama!

My niece left on a mission trip to Honduras this morning. This is her sixth trip down and by far the most stressful trip she has ever been on. They are going into a small town/village this time that has never been visited by missionary workers before. This area of Honduras is one of the few areas that still actively practices witchcraft and they believe their ultimate healer is their witch doctor. This area has the highest crime rate of all of Honduras and this is the first time a team has gone into this area to spread the word of God. While you are saying your prayers this week please send up a special little prayer for my niece and the small team of people she is with.

Baby events are uneventful. Lil Man is growing and changing every day. He is SO MUCH FUN! ‘New Baby’ is growing right along. I’ve taken some baby bump pictures but I keep forgetting my camera at home when I head out to the office so I can’t post them but I’ll try to remember to do that next week.

Keep reading … Keep smiling … and remember .. Philippians 4:13 which says “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Have a blessed weekend!

Go Precious Angel … Go Now and Play in Peace

Several days ago I published a post about several children who desperately need your prayers. Sunday morning one of those children, Paxten Mitchell, joined the ranks of God’s Heavenly Angels. With heavy, saddened heart, this morning, his mother posted what I call inspiration about something they experienced with Paxten the last few days of his precious life. Their story can be found on CaringBridge and Amy’s post in the journal, just before the post which lists the arrangements for Paxten’s funeral, tells of that experience.

Grab a tissue, or two … OR three and venture over to read Paxten’s Journal. What a blessing I found in knowing this little boy had NO doubt where he was going when his fight here on earth was over. I do not doubt in the least that Little Paxten Mitchell is running and playing on the streets of Heaven with his big purple “nice” dragon.

Say a prayer for Robert and Amy. They are going to need strength that only the Lord can provide to get through the next few days and weeks.

Click on over for an awesome give away!

Mommin’ It Up is having an awesome give away in celebration of the birth of a beautiful baby boy. He is absolutely adorable!! SO whatcha hanging out here for … get on over to Mommin’ It Up and get all the details then follow the instructions and be officially entered for the giveaway … time is of the essence so rush on over and participate!

Even a little glitch can cause a lot of trouble

Anyone who has been keeping up with goings on around here knows by now that we’re in baby watch mode again. As per previous posts and updates Stasha is still very early in her pregnancy (9ish weeks). Up to this point everything has sailed right along without really anything to note … UNTIL today … The OB’s office called today to tell us that Stasha’s last pap came back abnormal and they want to do a biopsy during her next visit. Of course instead of talking to me they would only talk with Stasha and she had not a clue what they were talking about or what questions she should ask. She immediately assumed she has cancer and that she is not only going to lose this baby but she’s also going to die. As I mentioned in an earlier post this OB’s nurse is just a little short of intelligent and the only reason we even stay with this doctor is because we really do like him and don’t want to fault him for her ignorance … BUT … you can certainly bet that he will know how I feel when we see him the next time.

Some things you may or may not know about Stasha … she is most of the time a total sweet heart … other times she is like the devil unleashed. Stasha has never really be fully diagnosed with ‘anything’ but she displays a wide array of traits that could easily be diagnosed as Bi-Polar. Stasha has also battled depression in the past and she is also ADHD … this topped with a really hard self-image of herself due to her mild right side CP handicap which she has had from birth. That’s another story within itself. Anywho … Stasha doesn’t process complex things like most people. Rather than thinking logically she gets angry and impatient then immediately bottoms out to the worst possible scenario.

I wish you could have heard the things she said when she called to tell me what ‘Nurse’ had said. Now what ‘Nurse’ actually said may have been totally different but she said it in a way that Stasha perceived that she has cervical cancer … no doubt about it. It took some time for me to make Stasha understand that she does not immediately assume she has cervical cancer just because she has an abnormal pap. I also had to make her understand that she wasn’t going to lose the baby because of an abnormal pap. The she went on a tirade that whatever they were going to do to her at her next appointment would cause her to lose the baby. I had a really tough time explaining to her that her OB would not do anything that would put her baby at risk for miscarriage and he would take care of whatever needed to be taken care of to see that she had another successful pregnancy.

I reminded her of our friend who had an abnormal pap then found out she was pregnant but was told she would never be able to carry the baby to term because of a procedure she needed to have done immediately. She had the procedure and several months later she delivered a beautiful healthy baby girl and 12 months, 9 days later she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. That was the end of her baby days as she required a hysterectomy after TaylorMan was born but she had two babies after her OB told her she wouldn’t have one.

I suggested to Stasha that she not overreact and let’s just wait and see what the results are after the biopsy. Nothing is ever easy with Stasha. I knew these past few weeks of pregnancy with almost no morning sickness and no spotting (which she did have with LilMan) was all to good to be true … but I’m still optimistic that a repeat pap and biopsy is going to reveal that she really doesn’t have anything to worry about and this pregnancy will progress to term with the delivery of another beautiful, happy, healthy baby around the end of October. ***Just in case … keep her in your prayers anyway … would ya?***

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