The past three weeks have been like a blur. Going through the motions but not really caring. Everything was starting to get lighter and facing every day was getting easier then yesterday happened … YESTERDAY I realized just how much I totally despise Dr. C’s nurse. I wish I could just come right out and say “I HATE THAT &$@*%” but that would be lowering my standards and I refuse to do that for her. Let me explain …
Most who read here regularly know my daughter had a miscarriage about three weeks ago. During her prenatal visit before the miscarriage she had the usual realm of ‘first visit’ tests. Her Pap came back with some abnormalities so she was scheduled for a Colposcopy. That of course was rescheduled from it’s original date to yesterday … they wanted to give her time to physically heal from the miscarriage. We went to the doctor’s office yesterday and sat through the coming and going of several pregnant bellies. You could see the hurt and sadness in Stasha’s eyes. It broke my heart to see the look of disappointment and pain … the look and feel that we have dealt with for three weeks now. I choked back tears more than once … I knew I needed to be strong for her … or at least I thought I did.
The nurse from hell finally called Stasha back and she grabbed me to go with her. She had been through enough and even though she is grown she still wanted her mama beside her. Anyway … Nurse Hell put Stasha on the scales and told her she had lost a couple of pounds which she so noted on Stasha’s chart. She then told Stasha to go into the bathroom and catch a urine sample. That threw us both because we couldn’t understand why they needed a urine sample to do a Colposcopy. Stasha went anyway and of course she couldn’t pee … she never could pee on demand. Nurse Hell told her she had to have the urine sample before they could do the Colposcopy. Stasha was getting irritated and finally demanded to know why Nurse Hell needed a urine sample to which Nurse Hell replied … (are you sitting down?) … “We need a urine sample to do a pregnancy test” THAT’S WAS THE LAST STRAW!!! Stasha got that ‘are you stupidly out of your mind’ look on her face and said “I’m not pregnant” to which Nurse Hell told her “that may be so but we’ve still got to do a pregnancy test before we can do this procedure.” Stasha was so upset and told Nurse Hell that she hadn’t been doing anything to be pregnant and that she couldn’t pee. Nurse Hell left the room and came back with a cup of water telling Stasha to drink while she did her vitals and continue to drink until she could pee. It was so sad to see Nurse Hell continue to force an issue that was a waste of time and money.
My heart broke to see the pain in Stasha’s eyes but at the same time my heart was beaming to see her stand up the way she did to Nurse Hell. Stasha finally relented and gave Nurse Hell a urine sample which of course resulted in a negative pregnancy test. Not once did Nurse Hell offer to say I’m sorry but it’s standard protocol to do a pregnancy test before doing this procedure which would have made sense to Stasha. Instead she just let it float casually without regard to anything Stasha had just been through or to how she felt.
We’ll get the test results from the Colposcopy in about a week but Dr. C said he didn’t think there was anything to be real concerned about. He said he only found three very small spots which didn’t look like anything to be overly concerned about. At least he was compassionate to what Stasha has been through and once again reassured her that it was nothing she had done that caused the miscarriage. He told her he was very sorry it had happened and told her there was absolutely no reason why she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant again and have a successful pregnancy … just like she did with Lil Man. Even though Stasha really likes Dr. C I believe that when/if she becomes pregnant again we will be going with Dr. B for OB care. He did the D & C after the miscarriage and Stasha did like him a lot. He also specializes in high risk pregnancy and since the miscarriage with the abnormal Pap Stasha would be considered high risk.
That was all emotional and by the time we got home we were both drained. I made dinner, did some laundry and crashed in front of the TV. About the time I got comfortable a friend of Heather’s came by with her baby. Naomi is about 8 weeks old now and she is soooo tiny and cute. I was cuddling her when Lil Man decided he wanted to cuddle with Nana too. I got him up in my lap, him on one side, Naomi on the other. He laid his little head on my chest then laid one of his arms across Naomi then he leaned in ever so gentle and gave her a baby kiss on her head … like we do him … well here come the water works. It was all so sweet and innocent and so touching. At such a young age he realized the need to be gentle with Naomi and to give her easy loves rather than his big little boy squeezes. It only took a few minutes for him to decide he’d had enough and was ready to move on to other things but those few sweet innocent moments … for me … were priceless.
Now it’s on to the weekend with a world of things to do … and no desire to do them!